Loneliness

Befriend Yourself This Year

One of the recommended “cures” for loneliness is writing your memoir.

Writing about yourself in a journal or in a memoir writing class will soften feelings of isolation by putting the focus on you, according to AARP Magazine. 

Befriending yourself and appreciating your feelings and accomplishments is an affirmation of your life.  That’s important.  Once we see how much we matter, we see the rest of life more clearly.  We start to pay attention to the sensory details around us – color, touch, taste, smell, sounds – which results in a joyful feeling. 

When I’m most in touch with the good in me, I feel happy looking at the sky, plants and trees, and the rest of nature.  This joy opens me up to appreciating others. 

Plus, if you share your writing with family, friends and others, they will benefit from the lessons you’ve learned and the tales you tell.  I’m grateful that my father wrote a memoir before he died.  There are wonderful family stories that he never told me…or that I had forgotten.

This winter I’m offering two opportunities to write about yourself.  The first is a new 6-week memoir writing workshop at Sausalito Books by the Bay in Sausalito, CA.  The second is Reinvent Yourself After 50 at Book Passage in Corte Madera, CA

“Writing your Story: A Memoir Class”  – 6 Tuesdays from 9 – 10:30 beginning January 28, $180.  To register call  (415) 887-9967 or visit this website for more information:

https://www.sausalitobooksbythebay.com/2020-events 

You’ll have a chance to do some journal writing in “Reinvent Yourself After 50”, Sunday Feb. 2, 1-5 pm at Book Passage in Corte Madera, CA.  $110.  Call 415-927-0960 or sign up:

https://www.bookpassage.com/event/class-lynn-ryder-reinvent-yourself-after-50-0

I hope to see you in one of these classes.  If you live outside of Northern California, we can arrange to come to your town.  Email: lynn.ryder@gmail.com

Have a happy, healthy, loving, abundant New Year!

Adventures in Art

Getting Started

I surprised myself today by submitting an application to a local art show for closet artists.  Since leaving my corporate job in 2014, I’ve had time to take watercolor classes and a pastel class.  It’s so much fun!

Paint Pouring

Then, my girlfriend invited me to do paint pouring (also called fluid art) on her deck.  The finished painting kind of looks like images from a 1960’s light show.  You don’t know what to expect as the paint flows onto the canvas.  You do have control over the colors and some control over how the paint flows as you tip the canvas at various angles while trying to get the canvas fully covered with paint.

Experimenting

I love experimenting.  I’m learning tricks that I can apply in a different media.  Best of all, at this stage in my life, I don’t have any judgment about how it comes out.  If I like the result, I can put it on my refrigerator; if not, it goes in a pile in the garage.

Benefits of Art

Meanwhile, the benefits are tremendous. Here are some listed at the Creatubbles.com site -  https://stateoftheart.creatubbles.com/2017/02/08/10-important-skills-learn-art-education/

  • Creativity
  • Observation
  • Self-expression
  • Focus
  • Discipline
  • Perseverance
  • Collaboration
  • Risk-taking

Stress Reduction

I want to add stress-reduction to this list.  When I’m focused on my art, all my cares disappear.  Try it.  Get started by taking a class.  Let me know how your art is coming along.  I hope you enjoy some of my art work on this site.

UPDATE

I've been selected for the art show starting in mid-September through October 2019 at the Tiburon, CA town hall.  If you're in the neighborhood, come take a look.

Stress and the Holidays

The holidays bring up such mixed emotions – there’s joy and hope…and there’s stress and sadness.

When I taught a class on managing holiday stress, participants gave me a long list of stressors that include worries about budget and creating a “perfect” holiday, and feeling sad when remembering loved ones who won’t be here this year.

Find Balance and Watch your Budget

Class members had plenty of ideas for reducing holiday stress.  They want to set realistic expectations, create a better balance between personal time and social time, and spend more time with supportive people.  Some people talked about reducing financial worries by changing some of their family traditions; instead of buying gifts for everyone in the family, they will have a white elephant exchange or arrange for secret Santa gifts, so that each person only buys one gift.

Stress Reduction Tips

During the holidays, more than at other times, it’s important to manage your stress.  This is the time for deep breathing exercises (breathe in for 3 counts, hold for 2, breathe out for 3 counts).  Progressive muscle relaxation is super helpful. Sit in a chair with your eyes closed.  Tense your right fist; let go.  Tense your whole right arm; let go. Do the same on the left side.  Then scrunch up your face and hold it tight; let go.  Tense your shoulders and your chest; let go.  Tense your stomach muscles; let go.  Tense your thighs and calves; let go.  Tense your toes; let go.

As members of my class completed  the exercise and opened their eyes, the energy in the room became light and peaceful.

Help Yourself to Help Others

So, first take care of yourself during the holidays. Then help others.  If you take time to volunteer or collect toys to donate, you’ll feel the joy of giving.  Plus, when we change the focus from materialism, we reap the benefits of feeling the spirit of the holiday season.

Your Rights

Remember:  You have the right to enjoy the holidays and even buy a gift for yourself.  You are also entitled to feel all your emotions – from happy to sad.  You don’t need to attend every party and eat all the food offered to you.  You can design the holiday you want to enjoy.  Make some new traditions.  What can you do differently this year?

Predictors of How Long You’ll Live

My friend Harry was laid off from his job at the age of 64. He took some time to think about his future….and then took some more time. His savings were slim, so he said he would look for another job. I’m not sure if he looked. I do know that he spent a lot of time on his computer, going to movies by himself, and watching TV. Mostly he was alone. Then he got sick. Then his cognitive thinking declined. He was depressed and isolated. He is one of the reasons I created the “Reinvent Yourself after 50” workshop. I want to help people feel fulfilled, joyful, and passionate, whether they are working or not.

For many people the most difficult aspect of leaving the workforce is losing daily interaction with work colleagues and the people you meet when you’re at work – the coffee barista, the bus driver, the cashier at the deli. In the workshop we discuss the many benefits of social integration and how to ensure we don’t lose it. This video demonstrates why our relationships are paramount to our longevity and to having fulfilling lives.

What does it take to live for 100 years? These are the surprising predictors of a long, healthy life.

Susan Pinker at TED2017 – The secret to living longer may be your social life